Racing to the Darkness

Hi there friends!

I've not posted anything for quite a while now. That doesn't mean I've not been learning anything. Just means I have a-very-much-lot going on right now. (smile)

Sometimes I don't have anything to write and I get a little frustrated. Like right now. I know that there's allot to write about. I just can't seem to drag it from the confines where it rests preparing to become awake and vibrant, full of motion; an exposition. I'd had several subjects present themselves which interested me and deserved to be developed, but time did not submit itself to me. Never does. Clocks seem to continue running, no matter how many I destroy.

I've found recently that I'm not a good race runner. I wonder if it's because I think time is supposed to submit to me...

Over the last few months I've come to a new understanding of the world around me. I've peeked beyond my own fears and lit a match in a scopic, vacant room that I don't think I knew I was in. Or one that I had simply imagined completely different from what the pale light before me now tells. There's allot of darkness in this world. And if you try to get involved in bringing light to the darkest of places, have no doubt that you will see darkness. Everyone has intentions of acting in greatness and displaying good for the betterment of sagging circumstances. But these are the ones fooled by their own self-importance. Not that there is a conscious attempt on their part to promote self-centered relevance, but we humans tend to consider ourselves from the perspective of self-affirmation and can be overtaken by thoughts of what good has been done through our hands. So, what happened to the initiative behind the steady run? Vision is blurred by cheers, and shaky legs are steadied by humility.

Imagine you're holding a letter in your hand. K? Now, imagine the importance of this letter and the even greater importance of its' arrival unto the destination within an allotted amount of time. You are equipped to take this letter and deliver it as it should be delivered. All know that you are the capable and appointed one. It is easy for you to receive admonition and bask in their words of admiration, then stumble through the first few steps of the trek causing you the loss of footing that was needed to secure timely completion of your task.

Pride comes before getting cooked alive in a microwave oven after all. When we believe that we will go into darkness completely unaffected, it's no wonder so many people are unwilling to stick it out and stay the position they're equipped for. We love the praise given and excitement we get from starting down the track. But of course we won't be untouched. If you look at darkness, you see darkness. That's a fact. To bring order to dis-functional darkness we should focus on and study the order and completeness of light. But to know that darkness is there, it must be witnessed and acknowledged, confirming its' prevalence and need for righting. And as we walk into the thick of things, we'd best be ready to acknowledge our dependence on someone greater than ourselves.

So, sometimes I can't quite find the words. And sometimes I get a little frustrated that I can't formulate any subject matter. And sometimes that's just what I need. A mouth less noisy is one less heard, and words less spoken are of great value. There is a place to release those sounds. Oh, help me find that place, Lord.

Andrew R. M. Hanson