Monday, January 28, 2008

Seasons, Discontent, Corrupted Good and Moderate Takings

So, today was very, very warm. I think it may have reached 40 degrees F. It felt like Spring was just around the corner, though the forecast tells us we've got below zero temperatures approaching again this weekend. Dang!

Don't get me wrong, I love the bitter cold air that strips away any sense of comfort you may have had in the warmth of your house upon opening the door after waking. I'm serious, I love the cold weather. But today, when I felt cool relief of a spring day touch my skin and breathed in that fresh southern wind that brought with it newness and life, I couldn't help but long for Spring to be upon us. I instantly began to desire the Seasons' constant visitation.

I can remember back to Summer, when I desperately desired Autumn. I remember near the end of Autumn when I was really looking forward to a dreadfully cold and white winter. Now had I not experienced Summer, Autumn would not have seemed as sweet. The same is true for Winter.

Things continually grow old and renew and are ever ending, and there is nothing new. So, uh, that gets me thinking and wondering why we so often despise the season we're in. We're always hoping for the next season to come and thinking that we'll be fulfilled when it's here. It's such a joyous moment the first week of Spring when the new buds are all over the trees. They unfold into leaves and keep us alive. But they will grow old and die and our infatuation with these wonders will diminish as we neglect to see their true undying beauty.

The same is true for the president of the U.S.A. No, I'm not talking about the current leader, I'm speaking of all the leaders, past and present. Even beyond the history of America, has there been discontentment with the governmental leaders of any nation. They rise, you love 'em. They try to act in their leadership as best they know to and you hate 'em. They eventually fall from power and you remember how they were good leaders and you long for Spring again.

Disgusting, really, the cycles we go through as unsatisfied human beings. We can't be satisfied by the good of anything because we have to see the bad along with it. Evil came into this earth, six, seven, eight thousand years ago and messed up our world pretty badly. The world is wrong. Seasons are wrong. Though there is beauty, and I try to experience it and focus on it, the fact still rings the truest tone, that darkness is on the earth. Every season shares its' good with torrents and destruction. Every good thing must be taken in moderation, because it is limited good. It is corrupted good, so to speak. Not that the good can mix with the bad, but too much good is monotonous and tiring down here.

I wish I could see the good without knowing that evil is present in all aspects of this life. But until I go to where things are endless, I will continue to take good in moderation, so as to not spoil my dinner.

Andrew R. M. Hanson

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Well, friends,

This will be the first blog in which I'm not saying something philosophical or poetic in nature. Because I'm just gonna talk about my life. Or at least some upcoming events in life.

You see, there's this trip coming up that greatly excites me! It is a missions trip with my church back to the country of Macedonia! I say back for, in fact, I have been there twice already. Once with my Mother, then a second time with my brother, Corey, Pastor George, his son, Elisha, And a Deacon from the church, Brother Ray. This time two more of my brothers, Daniel and Patrick, the Pastors' daughter, Suzie and the Deacons' son Ray Jr. will all be coming along with everyone who came on the second trip. The crowd keeps growing!

Through the first trip God established communication with the ministries there and, through much intercession and carrying the burdens of His Word, we shook the foundations of the enemy outposts all across Macedonia and specifically in Veles. We got to meet many amazing families and spend time with them. We ate of their generosity and drank of their spirits! Everyone drinks wine over there when they have guests to their homes, and personally, I enjoy a good Merlot to complement my evening meal once a week. If enjoyed moderately, it is truly a delight. More on moderation later.

So, where was I? Oh, yes. The second trip! We landed in Skopje, MK after a long flight and I immediately felt as though I had been there before. And what's more, I felt as though I was right at home! Even though I could not and still do not speak the language, it seemed as if I was right back where I belonged. When we reached the town of Veles, where we were stationed the first trip and would be again this second time, I felt even more at home. Then we got to work and broke the stronghold of darkness over all Macedonia. God specifically stopped the darkness from re-entering Veles on one occasion, of which our group (that I was away from at the time) saw first hand. But, that's another story, and if you want to know it, you can ask. Just to let you know, it has to do with crashing vehicles, blood and the physical destruction of certain evil items.

I was off on my own at this point learning a very important lesson about time we spend with those we love, and most importantly, with God. Or perhaps, more accurately, learning to a small degree what neglect is. And that's another story. One which I will share with you if asked in person. Cuz I like to talk to your faces!

Needless to say, the power of the enemy was shattered and the movement of God was touchable after our second journey there. The local ministries are now partially funded by monthly electronic transfers of currency to the Pastors there, and are growing steadily in strength and wisdom.

Now it is time to return again and push the work of God even further in that region! I'm so excited to go back and taste a freshly prepared burek. I can smell it now... (Another story) We leave March 18th and come back on the first of April. Gotta raise the funds real quick here. Can't wait to get back and see the friends I made there before and to witness Gods' unparalleled movement.

So, if you would, I'd appreciate certain directed attention toward Providence for... Our well being while preparing and anticipating, our unscathed deliverance into the country, and a certain humbleness so as to channel the current of Christ through our desires and efforts.

Basically, remember to pray for us at least once. Thanks.

Andrew R. M. Hanson

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Frozen Expressions. Broken Cogs. Meaningless.

What a wonderful day. The temperature soars to negative 12 degrees Fahrenheit. I woke at 6:30 a.m., the whites of my eyes cracked with red from falling in bed too late the previous night. This bitter day met me at the door like a slap to the face, the only part of my body exposed to its' greeting as I pulled at the knob. I inhaled deeply, welcoming the frozen air to beat my lungs to life. I could feel my blood begin to rush through its' veins and my eyes watered. A new strength came to me as I raced to beat the cold which was trying to penetrate my clothing before I could start my vehicle, return to the warmth of the indoors and finish my morning hygiene rituals. Mr. Winter won. Though the sprint caused me to become more aware than what I had been moments ago at waking. Took the sand right outta my eyes.

When I think about this life I live and the beauty of the land I'm in, I'd have it all no other way. I love this land. Yeah, sometimes you southern Minnesotans get on my nerves. All your, "Yeah, sure"s, weak coffee, repressed advertising customs and dang monotone cursing. But I really love ya'll. I'm one of you for cryin' out loud! In fact, I'm probably more a culprit of some things I try to blame others of doing than those who get the flak from my spit-fire.

Bills come and take, but days are unsure. This day is fresh and full of possibility. I started by disciplining myself with a little early morning jog and weight lifting at the 24-hr gym. Then rushed off to shower and open the family business at 9 a.m. But it seems I'm living like tomorrow is coming. I grow weary of that. I grow weary of myself. My greatest fear is that I'm not my own. Though a greater fear is that I'm on my own. I see us fear that we will only ever dream our dreams. That perhaps what we see as the desires of our heart are only selfish ambitions. We're in a routine, phisically and mentally.

Tell me what you're looking to find, Americans. Proof of your soul? Truth? That there's more to life than rituals and customs? Is everything mechanical? Does everything in this life have a formula? Do you see real meaning in the cogs of which you play a part? If you do, is what you see a vision of what waits outside the mechanism? The broken cog is the cure, my friends.

I want to be everything for someone. I don't even have to know them. Just to know that I can pull the sun into their view for an instant would make me proud. Too proud perhaps. Because I think that it's not even about the girl, the money, the Minnesotan comrades. It's about knowing that I can't fail. It's about reassuring me that everything will work out here in time, when I don't know that it will. I don't know that anything will be ok until the end of time. That all this fussing over what I did wrong, what I did right and what I should receive recognition for is worth anything. It's dead cold, I have failed and I'm a glad person. How? Something that transcends time, I believe.

I'm not gonna let it all become meaningless.

Andrew R. M. Hanson

Saturday, January 5, 2008

A Regretable Good

Lately sadness has been on my mind. Christmas was slightly sad, yet happiness was there as well. There was the death of a church members' daughter Christmas eve. There was the comfort that only God can give in such a time. It was amazing to see in myself the moments of remembering, after years of neglect, where Christmas truly comes from. Not only rememberance, but true appreciation for the birth of the holy child.

I was allowed a reality check by some friends this year concerning the truth about Santa. That's right, he doesn't exsist anymore. I stopped believing in him when I was five, to be honest, but that didn't end the fact that he was still a main contributor to the feeling of Christmas I experienced. This year someone told me he died. Something about what he did when he lived keeps a spirit of joy about, but he didn't raise from the dead. Then there's the Christmas tree. It's fun to pretend and be festive, and I think it's good to have a holly jolly Christmas. It can go too far when we set the truth of Christmas' meaning under the branches in the shadow. I was always raised to know the truth of the Holidays, but my nature is that the gifts and fables are at the forefront of my spirit of cheer, when it should be Christ I celebrate first.

The new year celebration made me realize how new things really are. They're not that new. I realized that sadness is here and happiness as well. Both come and blow away with the wind. The setting of the sun is the dismissal of a days' frets and gives way to fresh perspective on all things good and bad. But there are also sleepless nights. Think about that.

Thoughts on my mind. Hmmm... My thoughts channel the regret of things left unsaid or things I should have never said across my mind and register sadness. However, at times, I don't even realize I've let my tongue over my lips. I can remember when I was a little guy and my brother would aggrivate me beyond all sanity. This caused the release of certain vocabularies, like, idiot! Or, stupid! Or, bad bee! That was perfectly acceptable referencing toward the sibling in my mind. That is until I felt the sharp sting of a hand against the flesh of my own. I didn't like that! When I didn't say what I should have said and followed the brothers where I shouldn't have the outcome was the same. Slap!

I go through this life and turn here and there and get slapped every once in a while. I can't stand it! When do I get to stand on my own? Then again, what gives me the gahl to think that I'm grown past the need for discipline? If I don't realize my faults, then why would I prefer to be left to my own failing self? Let me past my pride and allow a firm hand to sting mine. What compells me to think that I'm a greater person than the one who corrects me? We're both of the same sin.

So sadness is a regretable good.

Andrew R. M. Hanson

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year

Ok. Sorry. My last post was a little confusing and long. So, here's a new one!

Happy New Year!

Andrew R. M. Hanson