Awareness is Uncertainty

 Hello.

I don't know what I'm writing about but I was suddenly inspired to read scribblings past and now have decided in the blur of the moment to write out an entire blog update.

My partner is probably wondering from the bedroom what I'm doing typing away on a Saturday morning. "He better not be working overtime!!" She tends to slide her meddling hand into my mismatched wardrobe like that - assuming I'm up to no good. Like some dog on a morning mission to find that wastebasket full of used tissues...

I'm not. And her meddling is more necessary than the extent to which I give it credit. Probably.

Still don't know what I'm writing about or why. Who reads these?

I suppose I'm trying to recapture or elicit something anew. Maybe there's a purpose to my ramblings, but they're likely just an addition to an algorithm of the complexities of our evolutionarily derived awareness.

Or is it discovered awareness? Is awareness a result of mutations, or is it the "higher power?" I suppose I'll capitalize the word from here on out to signify the importance and significance of said term.

The Awareness.

There we go. Also capitalizing the word because of my own perceived greatness, I'm sure. I'm not super great, though. I can write and I find it interesting. Maybe book readers would enjoy my skipping through grammatical aloofness as a child hoisting a gun while tumble-trotting, as children do, carelessly fingering that trigger guard. I can't foresee whether this would be observed as "oh, so cutesy and innocent" or simply "another result of bad parenting..."

Alas.

For you see, I have moved away from belief in deities and absolutes to a dependency on other assumed finalities. I think it may simply be a part of the human coding initiative. Our presupposition that there is more than this temporal existence sustains a thirst for surviving and, at risk of developing a greater insatiability, being comfortable and safe. Having a destination.

Knowing that home awaits us at the end of our day of existence.

Comfort. A condition of ease and thoughtlessness to which we aspire with all of our most determined thinking. What a paradox, that. The understanding that it is a dichotomy of a complex idea is also something astounding. How did we arrive at the place where we now entwine with the world, absorbing and expressing nuance and coveted poly-rhythms of speech and hearing?

Most of it is lost in the immediacy of the conversation. But it builds on what was known and what is assumed and is a complex sifting organism that filters our communal thought into a massive, world-covering creature of intellect. We are Aware.

In the spirit of maintaining my uncertain disposition toward all things and ideas, I'll end this post here.